Dr. Day

So I went to my dr's appt today. This is the new guy. The one who is responsible for thew LVAD. He has a team of people I will eventually have to meet but before I get ahead of myself let's try to explain the appt.

I found the offices intimidating. Not quite sure why but I've been a basket case since my appt with my cardiologist so going in I was an emotional wreck. Here's what we did.

Set forth a plan of action that was communicated to me. Yep. That definitely helps to know what step is next & that a plan of progression is in the works.

He changed my meds slightly. Changed 2. Monitoring others. Weening off 2. And some results should be almost immediate. He doesn't believe we have complete control of the fluid build up. The Ascites. I tend to agree so again he earns points with me. He asked questions that only someone with or very familiar with my condition would know. This guy is seriously THE MAN in this city when it comes to this procedure. That makes me feel better. If the drug change works I should see a result by the time I call in on thurs. to his asst & give a check up phone call.

What I don't feel great about are a few things. Nothing has really changed. We're no closer to a fix & there is no guarantee I'm going to be able to have one of these implantable devices. Money & my lack of insurance is going to be a problem. That team I was talking about in the beginning. They have to approve this. So I have to jump thru hoops abit & give the answers they need to hear. Maybe we can set up some fund raisers or bike rides but we're not there yet & I really dont know what overall cost would be. My best guess would be somewhere over 100k for the device, surgery, & hosp recovery time. Thats alot but I dont know. It could be 2-3 times that. We'll find out later.

So I am keeping the most positive outlook on this as possible. thinking negatively can only bring negative things. But reality is while this process may take weeks to months to get squared away. I may only have days to weeks to live in my current condition. Anyone would be concerned & I am.

The new drug I took today definitely hits harder. I can feel it. I also get the same side effects as the other med & they're more intense too.

Now here's something cool. All the little aches & pains. All the other medical problems I have large & small including my emotions & depression. All that is being caused by lack of blood flow. The Lvad will give me back that blood flow & all my other issues will reverse themselves naturally. I found that fascinating at the connection. And hope that I'm not falling into a mental path I didnt want to go down.

He doesnt seem to think I'm gonna die immediately. He thinks we have some time. No one can give any guarantees but his opinion matters & its alot better than what I heard from the last Dr.

That's just positive stuff & makes what life I do have easier. The pains are still here. There is no magic cure. He needs some tests run to determine just how sick I am. He knows I'm bad. He wants to know specific degrees of bad. Fron there he can make somme decisions.

So how do you feel about it? Sounds positive but nothing changed. No difference in condition or feeling yet.

I'm on the fence about the whole thing. I will say I had to walk further today than I have since being out of the hosp. And while it was difficult I did suck it up & push through. Thing is, I;ll keep doing that til I drop. It's a fault. But they say go & I'll go til I collapse.

Speaking of that, I'm dozing as I write this. I nod off for a minute or so & then snap awake only to find I've lost my place & have to start over. But I'm trying And your support and prayers & well wishes are received with much humility. But it makes me happy to know people care about me.

If I do have to work with some sort of fund raising I will need some help. Never done anything like that before. I'm sure some of you have experience with organizing those kinds of things. This is just gonna require alot of money. And I'm proud but not so proud as to let pride take my life. We'll figfure it out.

I'm rambling now. I need to try to sleep. But I can tell thats gonna be tough 2nite. More to follow tomorrow but you deserved some info today.

PEACE
& thank you.

Greg