HOT DAY #1

It got hot out there. I want to try to do things & I just can't. I'm not even allowed. And the next 2 days are supposed to be even hotter. Guess I'll be doing my walks first thing in the am. Early a.m. Maybe sneak in a late evening one.

I cant work upper body everyday. Gonna skip today & start tomorrow. I'm restricted to no more than 10 lbs. But it was suggested I start lower than that & build into more weight over several weeks time.

I'm following instructions. The people guiding me Have more degrees than the thermometer hit today so,  wtf do I know? Little steps.

Sis got a few job leads. We went to her school after the hosp. She needs a job badly. I know this. The nephew is trying to move out but that aint happening quite yet. But its coming. The niece is going off to school in about 6 weeks. I'm hoping I make some good progress before all that happens. I don't want to be alone all the time again. I wont worry about it right now but its in the back of my head, whispering, & my first instinct is fear. Maybe anxiety is a better way to put it.

We'll cross that bridge when we get there. As long as I'm doing well then Sis should definitely be putting all her efforts into good employment. My pain will subside with some time. I know it will. They told me so. What I feel like today will feel different tomorrow & the Dr knew exactly where I was feeling pain & how it moves around & all the little aches & pains that come with this. So I'm gonna trust his judgment.

If I follow instructions then I should feel better week by week. There are things I have to look out for but basically its a slow process. We already knew that. Its keeping the mind working & performing little tasks. But I do get bored with those quickly. I need some friends to hang with. Talk to on the phone & stuff. I'll try to get my room in tip top shape. I have a couple little hobbies I can throw in intermittently. Just take it as it comes.

It sounds boring. Kinda like this blog today. Fogged over from the pain killers. That I growing used to And arent doing all that I want done. Gotta suffer some I guess.

I was told however by Sis & Doc that I may have a higher tolerance for pain. I thought just the opposite but apparently I dont cry uncle as fast as the next guy. Years of experience & training in that. I said I wanted to be considered a tough SOB. But Sis said taking pain doesnt make me tough. What a buzzkill.

What I know is this. I've experienced alot over the years & its only accumulated in volume.I wouldnt wish my pains on anyone. 44 this year.Just a month & a little bit before my birthday. I creak & crackle like a haggard old man. But the new infusion from the heart pump has me looking forward more. My breathing. my mind, my desire to want to are all coming back in a big way. Its the body thats keeping me at a slow pace.
I'm supposed to be feeling this way. Its like a hot rod waiting on the line for that last yellow before the green, Like a bull in a chute just before the idiot on his back nods his head. Its almost like tension, or anticipation.

Anyway, everything seems to be getting sharper but I have a long way to go before I'm healed. I was reminded several times that my chest was split open for a couple days. Guess you dont bounce back from that so quick. I should start my hobbies. I'd go back to building models if I could keep my hands from having the shakes. Gotta find more alternatives.

Got any suggestions?? I can use the help & would love to hear from you. Throw your 2 cents in. If you were sick & couldnt really do anything what would you do to occupy your time & mind???

I look forward to hearing some responses


PEACE